Sever my ties with the emotional consequences of my actions. Sever myself from any emotion. This hurts so much. Breathing in my bleeding words, cut up and fucked up by my broken promises. And I never meant to be the derelict I am now. I never meant to tell you all those lies. I would have rather lived with the jagged edges of my soul then to have numbed the pain and hurt you more. So many addictions and afflictions they haven't found a cure for yet. So many addictions and afflictions that keep haunting me. I want a bottle of mercy and a syringe of it doesn't matter that much. Been dying since I was 13. I'll be dying until the world decides I can give up and quit. I don't want to care anymore. Not about anything. Not about you. Then it wouldn't matter that I lied.
(Written May 27, 2001, I don't remember what about, but probably some relationship gone bad or not gone anywhere at all.)
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Some Girls Do by Teresa McWhirterMy rating: 2 of 5 stars
So, it's a cute little story. It's by no means terribly original or terribly great, but it's enjoyable. Probably could have dealt with a few less main characters since given the length you never quite get into anyone's stories enough as you want to. In all fairness, I probably would have LOVED it when I was 15 though.
View all my reviews >>
Saturday, January 9, 2010
The Dante Club: A Novel by Matthew PearlMy rating: 4 of 5 stars
I'm not going to lie, I'm not huge on historical fiction. Usually it has little to do with actual history and more to do with "hey here's some people you might have heard of, now let me put them in an absurd situation and have them act like they probably never would have". This was different though. I am a huge fan of Dante to begin with and find the concept of a killer modeling his murders after Dante fascinating. Add to that the fact the author did his research (extensive at that) on the people, time and place where it's set (Boston, right before the turn of the 19th century) and it makes for a great read. It did take a bit to get into and those who don't like gore and graphic scenes might have a problem with some parts of the Dante Club, but overall I'd highly, highly recommend it.
View all my reviews >>
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Soooo, New Year, huh?
In general this means that I need to make some resolutions since I'm by no means exactly where I'd like to be in life. Plus I kind of like the shiny newness of resolutions that I may or may not be able to keep. It makes me feel like there's hope in my life. So, here goes with the 2010 version. A few days late, but I'm nothing if not a procrastinator.
1. I will work on being more patient and less judgmental of people. This be a big one for me. Really, I'm not half as much better than most people than I like to pretend I am sooooooo maybe I shouldn't act like it.
2. I will eat healthier and generally be healthier. I'd be lying if I said this had nothing to do with weight (as cliche as that is on the resolution list) but it also has to do with the fact that since I've gained so much weight my knee and my heart always hurt. It makes me worried about my mortality. I want nothing more than to be around to see my kids grow up into wonderful little hellions that will (hopefully) set the world on fire around them. Oh, and that whole things where my boobs are even with my stomach, so not hot.
3. I will figure out what the fuck I need to do to get my ass back in school. Self explanatory. I'm 30. My life is probably about half over. I'd like to have something to show for it when I go.
4. I will write more. Everything from updating this blog more often, to writing poetry (that I never like overwhelmingly, but other people seem to enjoy so maybe I'm being too self critical) to possibly starting that novel I've been meaning to write for years. I think 30 is a good time to write a novel. I've had the life experiences to write something that will ring true and will hopefully matter.
5. I will show the ones I love how much I care more. Quality time with the kids. Hugs and kisses. More sex with the boyfriend. More cuddle and downtime with the boyfriend. Not letting my work make me so cranky I take it out on everyone. Etc, etc... Because they deserve it and because the people I love are what make this whole mortal coil worth all the bs and headaches. :)
1. I will work on being more patient and less judgmental of people. This be a big one for me. Really, I'm not half as much better than most people than I like to pretend I am sooooooo maybe I shouldn't act like it.
2. I will eat healthier and generally be healthier. I'd be lying if I said this had nothing to do with weight (as cliche as that is on the resolution list) but it also has to do with the fact that since I've gained so much weight my knee and my heart always hurt. It makes me worried about my mortality. I want nothing more than to be around to see my kids grow up into wonderful little hellions that will (hopefully) set the world on fire around them. Oh, and that whole things where my boobs are even with my stomach, so not hot.
3. I will figure out what the fuck I need to do to get my ass back in school. Self explanatory. I'm 30. My life is probably about half over. I'd like to have something to show for it when I go.
4. I will write more. Everything from updating this blog more often, to writing poetry (that I never like overwhelmingly, but other people seem to enjoy so maybe I'm being too self critical) to possibly starting that novel I've been meaning to write for years. I think 30 is a good time to write a novel. I've had the life experiences to write something that will ring true and will hopefully matter.
5. I will show the ones I love how much I care more. Quality time with the kids. Hugs and kisses. More sex with the boyfriend. More cuddle and downtime with the boyfriend. Not letting my work make me so cranky I take it out on everyone. Etc, etc... Because they deserve it and because the people I love are what make this whole mortal coil worth all the bs and headaches. :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
